December 8, 2013

early december

Unseasonably cold weather and sunshine seems to come through Portland for a stretch every December causing it to feel (wonderfully) like a Colorado winter.  During this stretch of time both this year and last I have felt a compulsion to leave the house every day, even if the weather didn't break a high of 32°.  I'm beginning work on a new series of jewelry designs for spring 2014, trying to stay inspired and feeling something opening up inside of me.

Maybe the strange fuzzy sensation I'm having is a kind of nostalgia – the arid weather has me missing faraway friends even more than the holidays do.  I've been listening to a lot of music that college friends were partial to, getting really into some things I never gave a fair shake.  I wonder whether other people associate music with friends or circumstances in the same ways that I do or if the nature of associations is something like a fingerprint, specific and individual.  

A lot of my time lately has been spent ruminating about connection and what it means... evaluating past relationships and present ones, feeling grateful that I've made many wonderful connections in the relatively short time I've been alive.  I've been reflecting on lost connections a lot, too.  I don't yet know how to express my feelings in that realm.  I have a particular friend that I'm struggling to reconnect with.  Most of the struggle is even knowing if they want to be my friend anymore... and anyways, the whole thing feels so convoluted and makes me so, so sad.

This weekend I taught myself how to enamel on copper.  I am trying to figure out how to make abstract enamel pieces with color schemes that work in with the stones I've already bought for spring.  The "figuring out" part isn't really how to make them, it's which colors to combine or not combine.  My test pieces so far look pretty cool and the whole process feels sort of like painting with sand but as of day three I still feel like I'm all thumbs and really, I might be the only person who is into abstract enamel jewelry.  (But let's hope not.)

Another thing I've really tried to focus on lately is putting my energy into whatever I want to make (or do,) not what I imagine might be commercially viable or popular.  (Not to say that I have actively worked in the other way until now, just a running challenge to myself.)  I think my spring line is going to be weird and maybe everyone will hate it but I am ready to let go of caring what other people think... I really am (I think.)  I wanted to make note here of a running list I'm keeping of favorite things and inspirations for Spring:

• 90's-era malls
• Rothko
• elephants
• swans
Vesica Piscis
• the solar system
• Alexander Calder's jewelry designs
• Marc Bolan

My list of things to do (in no particular order):

• mail Mom and Dad's Christmas package
• sign up for that weaving class
• go to New Mexico
• order contact lenses
• save money for gold for Dave's wedding ring
• write here with more regularity.

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